You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
50% drunk capacity currently
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
