the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
