The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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