dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
