Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
