i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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