TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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