How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Randomize
