i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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