Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
