I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
