And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
