So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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