I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
