Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
