Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
