I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Everything about him screamed your future.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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