he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
