Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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