I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
