Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize