I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
