No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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