We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Everclear isn't food dammit
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
