Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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