Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
