Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize