3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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