Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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