Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
