I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
