I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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