My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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