You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
