OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
