Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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