Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
