I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
