Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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