If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I need to stop coming to work sober
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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