Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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