end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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