dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
