His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize