i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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