how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
