just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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