Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
