found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
