Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Farmville is her only friend.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
