would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
