Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize