I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
That's when you crack a 10am beer
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
