I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
