the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
