well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
