Having a random hookup so left but love u
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize
