went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
She made me pour olive oil on her.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
