I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
