What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
