420 ftw
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
