i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The power of my boobs compel you
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize