Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
