I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
