You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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