I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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