I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
