Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
