One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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