I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
