Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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