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I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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