She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
