I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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