And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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