My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
