unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
