They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
