its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize